How to Avoid Getting Screwed in a Divorce

You might have stumbled on this pages wondering how to avoid getting screwed in a divorce or how to protect your assets in a divorce. I’m going to tell you exactly what I did to come out of divorce ahead.

Just a few years post-divorce, I am thriving with money in the bank, three real estate purchases and a fabulous travel-based lifestyle with my home base in the Caribbean! I am a woman who mainly stays at home with her kids and cares for her elderly mother, and I chose to leave almost everything in my divorce. But I am still prospering after a life-shattering divorce.

Kee reading to learn how.

Dealing with Your New Enemy-A Strategy that Works

Divorce can be one of the most difficult experiences to endure in your life. A relationship that was once the foundation of your life can turn into spaces of heartbreak, confusion, and even resentment.

Add to that, the person you believed you once loved has now become your enemy. Your first instinct is to fight this enemy to prove you are right. Depending on the circumstances, you may feel like you are owed your fair share because after all, they cheated, they had the addiction, they chose to break the marital covenant in one or more ways.

However, the Bible tells us in Romans 12:20-21, “Therefore ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

The Bible calls us to fight evil and injustice with good, not revenge and malicious intentions.

For me, my divorce was a moment where I had to make some of the toughest decisions in my life, and one of those decisions was to walk away from what was rightfully mine. I didn’t fight for the house we’ve shared, for pensions, or for financial settlements that would’ve been fair by any standard after 17 years of marriage.

It may sound unthinkable, but I had my reasons. Here, I’ll share the “why” behind my decision, in hopes it resonates with someone standing where I once stood.

Speed Over Stuff

One of the biggest motivators for my choice to leave the material things behind was the need to move on quickly. The world was in chaos at the time, with COVID-19 disrupting every system, including the court system in the county I lived in at the time.

The backlog of cases meant that choosing to litigate our divorce could have dragged on for years. I knew that putting my future in the hands of an overwhelmed court and an aloof judge wasn’t the path I wanted for myself. Instead, I wanted to fast-track the process and create a fresh start for myself and my children. No amount of financial gain was worth prolonging the emotional turmoil of the divorce process.

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness was another key factor in my decision. My marriage ended on painful terms, bringing unimaginable hurt. When I say unbelievable, there’s probably no way your mind could conceive of the level of betrayal I was subjected to by a man that I really and truly loved. It took me years to recover emotionally and mentally from grasping what had been done to me.

I was heartbroken, and the idea of becoming bitter or resentful weighed heavily on me. But I believe in the power and necessity of forgiveness, even when it’s hard. For me, leaving the assets behind wasn’t just about letting go of material wealth—it was about releasing the emotional and spiritual weight that clinging to those things held.

I chose forgiveness not just for the person who wronged me but for myself. By forgiving, I freed myself from anger and resentment and laid a foundation for true healing.

Trusting God Above All Else

My faith played a central role in this decision. I’ve always believed in the promise that God provides for those who trust Him fully. There’s a powerful scripture in Mark 10 that says if you leave behind houses, family, or other things for God’s sake, you will receive back a hundredfold. That verse gave me courage:

Mark 10:29-30, “Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel ³⁰ will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life.”

According to the Bible, I didn’t walk away from anything that God won’t give back to me 100 times over! Isn’t that wonderful news?

Walking away from financial stability and material possessions was a profound act of faith, but I knew it was the right thing to do. My identity and peace were more important to me than wealth or property.

I trusted that God would restore anything I lost—and beyond that, I believed He would use this situation to refine me, build my character, and draw me closer to Him. And today, I am living the fruit of what I stepped out in faith on.

Protecting My Peace

If there’s one truth I’ve learned, it’s that no amount of financial gain is worth losing your peace. It was tempting to fight for what was “fair,” but at the cost of prolonged conflict and stress, something inside me whispered, “It’s not worth it.”

By choosing to walk away, I gained an immeasurable treasure—peace of mind. The bitterness often born of prolonged legal battles and resentment wasn’t something I wanted for myself or my children. Material assets can be replaced; peace cannot.

A Lesson in Prioritizing What Matters

At the end of the day, my decision was about prioritizing the things I value most in life—my faith, my soul, and my family. My goal was never to “win” the divorce but to emerge on the other side whole and at peace.

If you find yourself in a similarly difficult situation, the fight isn’t always about the material things. Money and possessions can come and go, but your inner peace, soul, and dignity are priceless.

Final Thoughts

If you’re in the midst of a tough decision or a similar season in life, know that you’re not alone. Walking away from security and stability can feel like losing everything, but sometimes, it’s the first step toward gaining so much more.

Trust that with time, healing, and faith in the bigger picture, things have a way of falling into place. Never forget that your peace and soul matter far more than any house, car, or bank account.

I’m praying for anyone going through a hard chapter, and I hope you walk away encouraged and hopeful.

If you’ve been through a divorce and want to recover financially. A great place to start is by writing the vision for your dream life. You may think you need money, but you really need vision. No matter much or how little you left on the table. There is a God that cares and wants to help you move forward from here.

I’ve got a free guide that can help you do just that. Check out “The Designed Life” guide so you can start rewriting your story today. You have nothing to lose but the uncertainty, stagnation hopelessness that has been keeping you stuck in the same place year after year.

Download the free guide today.